Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
