How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize