your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize