I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
