we have pet lesbian snakes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize