do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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