This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
