Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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