Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
