Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
