I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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