i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
