i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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