i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
