So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize