In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
be right there i have to get my cape
And then my night got REAL pukey
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
