That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
