Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
