I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
