Swine flu. Run for my life!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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