i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
