he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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