just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
