I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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