Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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