I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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