Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
