She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
