you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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