Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
