I am spending my child support on dildos
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
