Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
