The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize