Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
