Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
