bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
