just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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