thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize