I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
