im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
pop tarts are not kleenex
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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