i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
