You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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