I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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