No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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