Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hippo gnu deer
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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