how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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