too bad you live with your parents still
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
