lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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