My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
