It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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