You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
