The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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