she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize