Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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