wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
