He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
