do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
