So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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