my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
