Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
