his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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