hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
