I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
