not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
