Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
