Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize