"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
