I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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