just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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