just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
