doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nicole vs. Life
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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