Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize