Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
