there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
